Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Prologue to '13 may be a lucky number'

   Title of my story is definitely not 100% yet. This is just the only title I could think of. This may not be the world's best prologue, (I'm definitely not the world's best author for that matter either) but I'm gonna try.  Here it goes:



   Prologue
    He was running. He had to get the child away from all the enemies that were hot on his trail.  It would break what was left of his heart, if they would get their hands on her.
    He was almost there. They would shelter her from everything. He knew he should be happy with the arrangement, but why was he feeling so upset? He shook himself. The couple had recently lost their unborn baby, and after hearing about it, he quickly offered up his child. The couple would offer shelter and never show her his world.
   The black bundle in his arms made some whining noises. He stopped for just a second to study his child. Her onyx black eyes bore into his equally black eyes. He put his hand carefully on her soft head that was so vulnerable. He replaced his hand with his lips. He drew back and noticed she was developing the soft black hair that reminded him so much of her mother. He kept walking, though at a noticeably slower pace.
   He reached the meeting point. The couple was already there. Luckily, they knew the price if they ventured any farther. It would cost them their souls.
   He stopped right in front of them. He thrust out the little black bundle. The skull keychain banged against the side. He cringed. He wanted to remove the keychain, but the truth was he wanted to keep her connected to her roots.
   The couple grabbed the black bundle before he even got to say hello. They were that excited, eh?
   He murmured," Goodbye, Phoebe."
   And that was that.

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I'm proud of this prologue. Comments are appreciated. Thank you for reading!!! 

3 comments:

  1. Guess who? Well, I guess you know that. I like that name. And I forgot to mention when you showed me the story: "He put his hand carefully one her soft head that was so vulnerable." One should be on.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Np. And I'm TOTALLY sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I was busy and WAY too lazy to point out one measly mistake. lol

    ReplyDelete

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